Mary: There's something baking in my oven.
Me: Err... maybe you should go home then..
Mary: It was a mistake.
Me: Yeah I know, so you should go home and remedy that mistake.
Mary: How would going home help?
Me: Um, because you can turn off your oven...
Mary: This isn't something that I can just turn off. I have to face the facts.
Me: What kind of oven doesn't turn off?
Mary: I know! It was just so unexpected!
Me: .. Didn't you try out the oven before you bought it?
Mary: ...... Are we talking about the same thing?
Me: The oven?
Mary: I'm pregnant.
Me: WHAT?
Mary: I know.
Me: .. Okay, but wait. I think the oven thing is more of an immediate problem. Maybe we can talk about this pregnancy after we turn off your oven.
Mary:... Oh god. The oven is my god-damn uterus.
Lesson of the day: Use a condom.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Swine Flu bug!!
I walked into work one morning to find a billion memos on my desk and on bathroom walls and few mails in my mailbox suggesting that with the whole Swine Flu thing going on,all employees should wash their hands after using the bathroom, and before they eat. Also, employees should cover their mouth/nose when coughing/sneezing.
Apparently employees are taking these new suggestions really seriously, which sort of disturbs me because shouldn't people already know to wash their hands after they take a piss/jerk off, and isn't it common sense to cover your nose when sneezing so you don't pollute the office with your diseases? I mean, to not do any of those things is like having Gonorrhea and not wearing a condom and having sex.
Actually, if you have Gonorrhea you should probably not have sex at all.
Apparently these notices are actually necessary because yesterday, when I was in the bathroom, two men walked out of the stalls and left without washing their hands. What the eff.
I've also noticed that people are starting to stay away from foreign employees, which is just discrimination if you ask me considering most of them haven't left India in years.
How about where you are? What measures have your company taken to prevent Swine Flu from spreading into the workplace? Are people more discriminatory towards foreign returned people than ever before?
Apparently employees are taking these new suggestions really seriously, which sort of disturbs me because shouldn't people already know to wash their hands after they take a piss/jerk off, and isn't it common sense to cover your nose when sneezing so you don't pollute the office with your diseases? I mean, to not do any of those things is like having Gonorrhea and not wearing a condom and having sex.
Actually, if you have Gonorrhea you should probably not have sex at all.
Apparently these notices are actually necessary because yesterday, when I was in the bathroom, two men walked out of the stalls and left without washing their hands. What the eff.
I've also noticed that people are starting to stay away from foreign employees, which is just discrimination if you ask me considering most of them haven't left India in years.
How about where you are? What measures have your company taken to prevent Swine Flu from spreading into the workplace? Are people more discriminatory towards foreign returned people than ever before?
Power of Love
"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said, "journeys end in lovers meeting". What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have experienced something remotely close to that and so I am more than willing to believe what Shakespeare said. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably, love fades; for others, love is simply lost."
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