One fine morning while trying to wake up, I asked myself..
Who am I? What’s my identity?
Am I an “Esthete” person who is responsive and delighted with, whatever seems b’ful.
Am I an “Epicurean” person for whom happiness, pleasure, fun are the most important things in life.
Am I an “Altruistic” person who likes helping others.
Am I a person who sometimes becomes “Stoic” by giving up envy, greed, jealousy, hatred and other human passions.
Am I a “Gregarious” person who loves the company of friends.
Am I a “Suave” person who at times shows expertise in getting along with women and make their hearts flutter.
Am I an “Ambivert” person who at times is happy to be alone but at times prefer the company of others to solitude.
Am I an “Effervescent” person who is generally sparkling, happy, bubbling over with zest and high spirits.
Am I a person who at times become “Acrimonious” with sharpness and bitterness in speech or temper.
Am I a person who is always on the “Qui vive”.
My thoughts then wander to these words
“Men never know precisely what is right
So, torn between a purpose & a doubt
He first makes windows to let in the light
And then hangs curtains up to shut it out”
My thoughts are then interrupted by ringing of the alarm bell thus hanging the curtains of my thoughts..
And I tell myself…..Get ready for office Dude….
“You are a Banker”
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Anmol Pal..
Who Saath bitaye pal
Who Sunhari Yaadein
Yaad Aati Hain Har Pal
Aapki Meethi-meethi baatein
Hal Pal basi hain
Dil mein aapki yaadein
Kabhi na khatam ho
Aaapki aur hamari mulakatein
Kyunki aapne di hai hamein
Jindagi bhar ki Yaadein....
Who Sunhari Yaadein
Yaad Aati Hain Har Pal
Aapki Meethi-meethi baatein
Hal Pal basi hain
Dil mein aapki yaadein
Kabhi na khatam ho
Aaapki aur hamari mulakatein
Kyunki aapne di hai hamein
Jindagi bhar ki Yaadein....
Dil hi Dil mein...
Dil hi dil mein
Yeh Sochta hoon
Ki kaun hai mere khwabon mein
Jiska chehra main roz dekhta hoon
Ki kaun hai meri rooh mein
Jiski saanson se mein jeeta hoon
Koi to naam hoga uska
Jiske liye mein tadapta hoon.
Yeh Sochta hoon
Ki kaun hai mere khwabon mein
Jiska chehra main roz dekhta hoon
Ki kaun hai meri rooh mein
Jiski saanson se mein jeeta hoon
Koi to naam hoga uska
Jiske liye mein tadapta hoon.
Burden of Love
Chatting is fun. We used to chat n make fds online, yep, it was indeed great fun to make fds unknown to you. Personally I have gained many good friends too. Now that I was in college, I got in touch wid a girl wid whom I hit d bulls eye and gained her trust..She listened n talked to me with great interest.She fell for me n I took control.She was initially reluctant before I successfully coaxed her. Days passed by and then weeks. I was getting closer and closer to her. Is she gonna be the girl in my life? Should I propose her? Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind.One fine day, she called up n proposed me.. Sam, I know I am losing myself to you. I know that you are reciprocating the same feelings too. I know you as a good friend.Perhaps after my dad and mom, you are the one who's most important in my life. I guess I can't live without you...This continued...Since we didnt meet each other in person as yet,we decide to meet...I met her and we spent sum unforgettable moments together.On d day i was bout to return I proposed her and all d while I was speakin.., I was holding my breath to hear those three words. 'Come on say it Natalie' I thought in my mind.
She asked me to give her sum time to decide and with a bated breath I returned bak awaiting for her answer.."I don't know where this is gonna end. My parents are way too orthodox to agree for our marriage. Why don't we end this here?" she said after few days toppling my world upside down... "But I still love you...." she said and there was a pause for a while. Tears trickled down my cheeks. Had she told me the last phrase alone, I would have been the happiest soul in this world. What's the point in saying "I love you" which is not gonna sustain. Whats the point in being in a relationship which is not gonna last? And she decided to breakup before I could actually reciprocate her proposal.One day, it was late night when I got a call 4m her...she told me how helpless she was going against her parents wishes n how her parents wud never agree..I do love you, but I am frightened of my parents. I just can't live without you" and she started crying as she disconnected d phone..A woman's heart is too deep to be understood. But that time I felt that I saw her true feelings towards me. I knew she loved me from the depths of her heart. I saw how much she cared 4 me.They say that a guy who often prays when in a relationship is damn serious about the relationship. I prayed too often.I prayed to God that she and I should get married, that too with the blessings of our parents. Little did I know that I was asking for something which would never be granted. Five years, we were in love. I enjoyed her company and we had a strong rapport but still I was always frightened that this wouldn't last long. I never knew when we would be separated. I never knew when this relationship would come to an end. The only thing that I could do was pray. And I never neglected my career too. After all, if our parents agree, we should be self sufficient at least.
For a few weeks, I couldn't contact her. One day she called me and said, "I am sorry Sam. My parents got to know dat we met. Afraid that my mom cant withstand this thought & frightened that my mom may kill herself,I don't want to build a memorial of love on the grave of my parents. Please do forget me Sam. I am sorry" she said and cut the call.I never anticipated such an answer. It was shocking indeed for me. All these days, I have imagined her to be my wife n our future together.. And now she called me saying that she's succumbing to her parent's pressures?Parents are very selective about the marriage of their kids. A sense of social status is more important to them rather than the life of their kid. At least what right do they have over some one else's child. Isn't my life spoiled? I am not the kinda guy who just lets things go off his head and go on with life. She always said, "I love my parents and you" and I said "I love you more than my parents". What could she have done if I were also to threaten her or blackmail her by saying that I would consume poison and commit suicide? She would have still stayed with her parents. It was my mistake to fall in love. And from the very next moment I started to feel restless. A few weeks later, I came to know that she is getting engaged to another guy. And the burden of losing someone whom you love is too much to be carried with your heart for the rest of your life....
I closed the diary. I understood the pain which my son must have undergone when he lost the lady whom he loved. I felt a stinging pain in my heart. I have never been I love. I loved only few people. My parents and my wife and the last but not the least, my 2 sons. But after reading his diary I was in his shoes for a while. I could understand his feelings.If he had told me dat he was so serious about his love, I would have talked to the parents of the girl and persuaded them to get these young hearts married. But I came to know later from one of my son's friends that he had done all that, he could. He spoke to the girl's parents,tried to persuade them... But to no avail.Her parents might have had the right to spoil her life. But what right did they have to spoil that of my son? Citing some caste and social problems, they rejected his love. "Sam, my darling...." I closed my eyes and opened them wiping the tears from my eyes.The burden of losing someone whom you love is too much to be carried with your heart for the rest of your life.
She asked me to give her sum time to decide and with a bated breath I returned bak awaiting for her answer.."I don't know where this is gonna end. My parents are way too orthodox to agree for our marriage. Why don't we end this here?" she said after few days toppling my world upside down... "But I still love you...." she said and there was a pause for a while. Tears trickled down my cheeks. Had she told me the last phrase alone, I would have been the happiest soul in this world. What's the point in saying "I love you" which is not gonna sustain. Whats the point in being in a relationship which is not gonna last? And she decided to breakup before I could actually reciprocate her proposal.One day, it was late night when I got a call 4m her...she told me how helpless she was going against her parents wishes n how her parents wud never agree..I do love you, but I am frightened of my parents. I just can't live without you" and she started crying as she disconnected d phone..A woman's heart is too deep to be understood. But that time I felt that I saw her true feelings towards me. I knew she loved me from the depths of her heart. I saw how much she cared 4 me.They say that a guy who often prays when in a relationship is damn serious about the relationship. I prayed too often.I prayed to God that she and I should get married, that too with the blessings of our parents. Little did I know that I was asking for something which would never be granted. Five years, we were in love. I enjoyed her company and we had a strong rapport but still I was always frightened that this wouldn't last long. I never knew when we would be separated. I never knew when this relationship would come to an end. The only thing that I could do was pray. And I never neglected my career too. After all, if our parents agree, we should be self sufficient at least.
For a few weeks, I couldn't contact her. One day she called me and said, "I am sorry Sam. My parents got to know dat we met. Afraid that my mom cant withstand this thought & frightened that my mom may kill herself,I don't want to build a memorial of love on the grave of my parents. Please do forget me Sam. I am sorry" she said and cut the call.I never anticipated such an answer. It was shocking indeed for me. All these days, I have imagined her to be my wife n our future together.. And now she called me saying that she's succumbing to her parent's pressures?Parents are very selective about the marriage of their kids. A sense of social status is more important to them rather than the life of their kid. At least what right do they have over some one else's child. Isn't my life spoiled? I am not the kinda guy who just lets things go off his head and go on with life. She always said, "I love my parents and you" and I said "I love you more than my parents". What could she have done if I were also to threaten her or blackmail her by saying that I would consume poison and commit suicide? She would have still stayed with her parents. It was my mistake to fall in love. And from the very next moment I started to feel restless. A few weeks later, I came to know that she is getting engaged to another guy. And the burden of losing someone whom you love is too much to be carried with your heart for the rest of your life....
I closed the diary. I understood the pain which my son must have undergone when he lost the lady whom he loved. I felt a stinging pain in my heart. I have never been I love. I loved only few people. My parents and my wife and the last but not the least, my 2 sons. But after reading his diary I was in his shoes for a while. I could understand his feelings.If he had told me dat he was so serious about his love, I would have talked to the parents of the girl and persuaded them to get these young hearts married. But I came to know later from one of my son's friends that he had done all that, he could. He spoke to the girl's parents,tried to persuade them... But to no avail.Her parents might have had the right to spoil her life. But what right did they have to spoil that of my son? Citing some caste and social problems, they rejected his love. "Sam, my darling...." I closed my eyes and opened them wiping the tears from my eyes.The burden of losing someone whom you love is too much to be carried with your heart for the rest of your life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
