Mary: There's something baking in my oven.
Me: Err... maybe you should go home then..
Mary: It was a mistake.
Me: Yeah I know, so you should go home and remedy that mistake.
Mary: How would going home help?
Me: Um, because you can turn off your oven...
Mary: This isn't something that I can just turn off. I have to face the facts.
Me: What kind of oven doesn't turn off?
Mary: I know! It was just so unexpected!
Me: .. Didn't you try out the oven before you bought it?
Mary: ...... Are we talking about the same thing?
Me: The oven?
Mary: I'm pregnant.
Me: WHAT?
Mary: I know.
Me: .. Okay, but wait. I think the oven thing is more of an immediate problem. Maybe we can talk about this pregnancy after we turn off your oven.
Mary:... Oh god. The oven is my god-damn uterus.
Lesson of the day: Use a condom.
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